What to Say to a Parent That Has Lost a Baby

The truth is there are no perfect words to help heal someone who has suffered such a tremendous loss.

But as someone who has gone through the heartbreak loss of a little one myself, I believe that we need to educate people around us on how to respond.

I talked to a dear friend of mine who has suffered through 5 losses.

Just writing that punches me in the gut for her.

But she was one of my biggest and best supporters through my loss…never dwelling on her losses, but dwelling on me.

We recently discussed what it is about this situation that makes it so taboo to be talked about and we came on 2 main factors: People don’t know what to do or what to say.

They just don’t. I didn’t!

And even when I was in the situation I didn’t know what I wanted people to say or do. But, now I see more clearly and maybe this will help you and others reading it.

What to Do

The best way to be there for your loved one during this time is to support them. Don’t shun them or leave them alone because they are pushing themselves away from everyone and everything. Pull them back in.

Here are some ways to do just that:

  • Be there for them. Even if that means you just sit and stare out the window. They just need to know that they have someone there for them.
  • Bring over food, dinner or snacks because that is one less thing they have to think about.
  • Some might like a few moments alone, so offer to take their kids or come over and entertain them.
  • Flowers can always brighten someone’s day.
  • A card, a text, phone call or silly Marco Polo. Yes to all of that.
  • Invite them to go on a hike in nature or a trip to the beach to allow their soul to breathe.
  • Listen…listen through the silence and listen when they’re are ready to talk.
  • Don’t constantly ask them about it. They will talk when they’re ready.

Let them know that they are loved because they are trying to sift through every phase of grief all at once.

What to Say

In a time where it seems like it’s easier for you to say nothing at all, tell them that you’re here for them, that you love them and that you are grieving with them.

It’s okay to tell them that you don’t know what to say or do and it’s okay to check in on them every day.

But maybe find a more creative way than just asking how they are doing that day…because you already know the answer.

Every day will be different and every emotion will be different! Feelings of sadness, anger and confusion will come up. Tell them it is okay, but don’t tell them it will be okay.

Just focus on the now…don’t paint a picture of a fairytale ending. Their heart cannot handle thinking of a better tomorrow just yet. And that is okay.

What Not to Say

As important as it is to know what to say, it’s equally as important to know what not to say. This alone is half the reason no one talks about it because they don’t want to say the wrong thing.

Here is a list of things NOT to say:

  • Don’t ask if they have been tested to figure out why they lost baby.
  • Don’t tell them everything happens for a reason…there’s no comfort in hearing that as they are going through all of those emotions right now.
  • Don’t ever say “at least it happened now” or “at least you were only this far along”. The amount of time does not matter, it still hurts and is devastating.
  • Don’t ask how it happened or what they might have done wrong…they are already blaming themselves for things that were out of their control.
  • Don’t say that it was for the best because there was obviously something wrong with the baby or child. Many times this is the case with a miscarriage, but these are not comforting words.
  • And please, don’t use the “funny” excuse of “now you have a reason to keep trying”. You have no idea how long it will take them to get to that point.

I want to encourage you to keep up the support. It’s easy to say your peace and move on, but keep in mind that the loss of a child will always be with your loved one.

Heck, it’s been two years and I can still find myself grieving from time to time!

I feel like many of us can put on a tough exterior but are hurting below the surface. So continue to be that light in someone’s life, continue to put a smile on their face and continue to be a shoulder they can lean on.

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Why Recovery Is Essential—And How to Do It

You’ll be happy to learn that rest days are an essential part of your fitness journey. That’s right, people! Get rid of the feeling of failure you have for not hitting the gym seven days a week. But if you think rest days are for laying completely perpendicular on the couch, think again. Taking a rest day doesn’t always mean doing absolutely nothing. It’s time to start incorporating active recovery into your workout plan!

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The Risks and Rewards of Protein Bars

Staying fueled for whatever lifestyle you have is really important, and if you’re rushing somewhere before or after your workout, thinking about protein matters, too. Protein bars might seem like the solution to your problem: they’re prepackaged, easy to find at the grocery store, usually delicious and require zero meal prep! However, it’s best to eat bars sparingly, rather than as your primary protein source. While they’re great in a pinch, it’s best to get your protein from whole food sources and snacks like hard-boiled eggs, nut butter, hummus, nuts and seeds or cheese.

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The Secret to Stronger Water-Skiing

In the spirit of outdoor activity and putting the fun in fitness, here’s some great information and exercises that will improve your water-skiing. Prefer the colder cousin to water skiing, downhill skiing? No problem! This article focuses on strengthening your skiing skills and while we created it with water in mind, the tips are definitely applicable to improving your downhill form.

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A Letter From One Parent to Another About Pregnancy Loss

I can’t figure out how to begin a blog post talking about something as heartbreaking and defining as the loss of an infant or child but I have been asked to share some thoughts as I went through this 2 years ago and it being National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

I have decided the only way to get what’s on my mind and my heart out to you is to write this as a letter. So, here it goes…

My Dear Friend, 

I am so sorry to hear of the heartbreaking loss you have suffered, but I want you to know that you are not alone. This is such a silent and lonely road to travel, but we NEED to talk about it more.

We NEED to express how we feel.
We NEED to be loved so tightly by others around us at this time.
We NEED to be heard when we want to be heard.
We NEED to stand together and be there for each other.
We NEED to not feel as if something is wrong with us or we caused this.
We NEED others to know this happens and there is nothing wrong with them.

>>We are right where we’re supposed to be at this moment. As ugly, painful, tear-filled, question filled, downright terrible, gut-wrenching place that it is.<<

I was in a work meeting a week ago, when I was asked if I would be willing to write a blog post in support of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Typically I am totally up for talking about this because it seems the loss of our little ones is so taboo that half the time we don’t even know when a friend or loved one suffers through this.

But this time was different.

It triggered me. It triggered me in a way that was different from all of the range of emotions I felt 2 years ago and put me in a funk for a few days. I was actually frustrated at myself for “allowing” myself to get in a funk, but guess what?

It is okay!

I can still grieve that sweet babe of mine. I can forget about that sweet babe of mine and have happy and fun-filled days. I can think sweetly about that sweet babe for a few moments and then be off with my other kids or “living my life.”

ALL of this is okay! There is no playbook for how we have to act and feel. There is no day to day screenplay we must follow.

Every day is different. Every moment is different. Every person is different. And that is okay.

>>But, now back to you my friend: This is hard!<<

This just plain sucks and I am so sorry. I wish I could reach out and hug you right now (if you are wanting a hug at the moment). There were many moments when I didn’t want a hug because I knew I would burst into tears.

But it was probably in those moments that I just needed someone to grab me tight, against my will, and just let me break completely down and sob those ugly, vulnerable tears and just feel. And in that same moment, feel loved, accepted and okay to be where I was.

But you won’t find many friends or loved ones who will do this. Do you know why? It is because they don’t know what to do for you.

They don’t know what you need. They don’t want to do something wrong. And guess what? They are also probably hurting deep inside as well. If not for the loss of your sweet little one, they are hurting for you.

My friend, again, I wish I could hug you. I wish I could cry with you. I wish I could listen to you. I get it. I hate it.

And yet, at times, it is a cherished moment for me, because I can reach out to someone else who is in that same place I was 2 years ago. I can be the temporary wall that helps hold them up even if for a little while.

I see you. I hear you. I stand arm in arm with you.

>>You are not alone. You don’t have to be silent. It is okay to feel exactly how you feel.<<

I believe I now have my own special angel to watch over me and that brings me comfort.

Find what brings you comfort and that is personal to you.

You can talk about it. You can cry about it. You can sit and not want to think about it. You can forget about it. You can smile. You can laugh. You can continue on. You can scream about it. You can be you, as you are right now.

I stand with you. I am sending you my biggest virtual hug right now on national pregnancy and infant loss awareness day my friend.

You are loved.

Coach Jen

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Why in the World Would Anyone Get a Tattoo of Their Gym’s Logo? We’ll Tell You!

Congratulations! You’ve made the decision to work with a personal trainer. Good for you! It can be intimidating to ask someone to help you with your workouts but think of it this way—you’re hiring a professional in order to keep you safe and accountable while motivating you to push yourself in order to reach your goals.

The post Why in the World Would Anyone Get a Tattoo of Their Gym’s Logo? We’ll Tell You! appeared first on Anytime Fitness.


How to Balance Hormones Before Pregnancy

When I took my first DUTCH test, I was completely overwhelmed. I kept thinking:

  • What does this mean?
  • How does that connect?
  • Have I always had that?

The truth is: It is overwhelming because it dives into so much more than your average labwork.

But the good news is that as a functional diagnostic nutrition practitioner I know how to read into the results and understand the importance of hormones before pregnancy, pregnancy and postpartum health.

>>If you’re feeling unhappy about living with a symptom, looking into your hormones may be the answer you’re looking for!<<

I know it was true for me, and the same will be true for you.

Since taking my first DUTCH test, I have been able to make connections to symptoms in my body that have been there since I was growing up! It was my body’s way of talking to me.

I will guide you through what to look out for pre-pregnancy, pregnancy and postpartum when it comes to hormones.

>>I truly believe my health would not be where it’s at today without understanding my hormones levels and what they mean for my health.<<

But mama, I still remember that feeling of overwhelm around taking that first step, and I want to help you through this process.

In this episode, I’m going to walk you through:

  • What you can do to prepare for pregnancy
  • How to turn your symptoms around before you get pregnant
  • Insight on what happens to your hormones during pregnancy, delivery and postpartum
  • Connecting your hormones to symptoms happening in the body
  • Postpartum supplemental support recommendations

Real Talk: This episode is about to get real sciency, so grab your pen and paper because I have a feeling you’re going to be taking a lot of notes!

Since this topic is so complex, I want to give you the opportunity to apply for my 1:1 coaching >>HERE<<

If you’re obsessed with doing what’s best for your health and are passionate about learning something new about your body, apply for my 1:1 coaching and be ready to do the deeper work to enhance your results.

I’m so excited to talk to you about my new passion for hormones so that you can reclaim your health and get back to doing what you love. Are you ready? Click >>PLAY!<<

The material contained within is provided for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. You should seek prompt medical care for any specific health issues and consult your physician before beginning a new regiment or purchasing any product(s).

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Are You Willing to Make Lifestyle Changes to Live the Life You Want?

Over the years, I have heard a LOT of pre and postnatal exercise specialists make claims that they hold the secret to healing diastasis recti postpartum.

The truth is there is no secret.

Now, I can provide you with the tools, guidance and information that will leave your body feeling stronger than before you had kids…But you only get out what you put in.

So, in this post, allow me to share with you the benefits of my Core Rehab postpartum program with the understanding that there is no secret pill. Just an empowered woman willing to put in the work and make the necessary lifestyle changes to get back to living a life that she wants.

>>Remember that you are not alone and with patience and persistence there is nothing stopping you from reaching your goals.<<

On the physical side, what Core Rehab can do for you is:

  • Get rid of aches and pains
  • Heal diastasis recti
  • Improve pelvic floor dysfunction

>>Basically, it’s rebuilding the fascial foundation in your body so that peeing your pants when you laugh doesn’t have to be your new normal.<<

But it’s more than that mama…It’s gaining a greater understanding of your body and how it functions.

If you want to heal your diastasis recti it’s not going to happen overnight. This postpartum program forces you to slow down to connect your mind, breath and body in a whole new way.

Now I’ll be real with you…my goal of the program is not to build you a shredded 6-pack. My goal is for you to feel confident and comfortable in your skin again.

*Going through this program isn’t about a before and after picture. It’s an ongoing journey of discovery about your body, health and lifestyle.*

If you’re ready to make the lifestyle changes to live the life you want, my Core Rehab program is here to guide you.

image of core rehab program

This 6-phase program includes my 3 bonuses to enhance your life for FREE:

  • Digestion Series ($397 value)
  • Mindfulness Course ($497 value)
  • Monthly Group Coaching Calls with Erica and Coach Jen ($2,400/year value)

Mama, I can’t wait to see what you discover about your body through this postpartum program.

Click >>HERE<< to begin your Core Rehab journey and say YES to making the investment that will get you back to living the life you want! 

The material contained within is provided for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. You should seek prompt medical care for any specific health issues and consult your physician before beginning a new regiment or purchasing any product(s).

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Your Secret Weapon to Postpartum Recovery

What do you think the mamas that are dealing with no incontinence, no diastasis recti and no back pain after delivering their baby have in common?

They are taking the time to show up consistently for their body, mind and overall health.

This isn’t surprising, especially because we know the importance of having a movement practice throughout ALLLL stages of womanhood.

As a new mom, chances are you know you need to move your body to get rid of your mommy pouch. But how do you know what movement practices are safe and effective for postpartum recovery?

Putting the pieces back together seems like an impossible task, right? What exercises are the best to heal diastasis recti and how do I know if it’s too late?

**And please, do NOT get me started on finding the time to workout!**

Postpartum recovery does not have to be this hard because I’m gonna share the best kept secret with you.

If you’re new around here: Hi, I’m Erica Ziel, and I empower postpartum women to heal their bodies through movement, mindset and wellness to get them back to doing the things in life that they love without the discomfort.

After being a pre and postnatal exercise specialist for almost 20 years, I’ve seen all types of body dysfunctions, discomforts and excuses from my clients.

I’ve spent countless hours reading research, understanding the body from a fascial perspective and learning how to implement it into my unique training methods.

Now, I have grown a dedicated, like-minded online community of people who are reaping in the benefits.

>>Core Rehab empowers postpartum women to close their abdominal separation, minimize back pain and get back to laughing again without peeing their pants.<<

As a member, you get access to:

6-Phase Movement Program and Lifestyle Phase

These phases are designed to build off of one another to create a solid core foundation that you will take with you for life!

Daily Workout Guide

Yes, you read that right, mama! Gone are the days of desperately searching for what workout to do. I have it all laid out for you in a workout schedule that best suits your fitness level!

Diastasis Recti and Pelvic Floor Section

These sections are an amazing aspect of the membership because it contains diastasis recti resources, tutorials and information to empower you to move consistently and confidently.

Our Community

Mama, I’d love to see you in our private Facebook group! This is where you can ask questions, get answers and meet other moms who are going (or have gone) through the same things you are. It is a place for support, clarity and connection to help keep each other accountable to move every day!

>>It’s time for you to stop putting off postpartum recovery and begin to make it a priority in your life.<<

The Core Rehab program is created for you to confidently move by learning to connect with the body’s best kept secret…FASCIA.

These training techniques are the exact cues that thousands of members are using: to awaken their pelvic floor from its seven-year slumber like Katerina, feeling stronger than they did before having four kids like Megan, and getting rid of 12 years of back pain in three months like Carly.

Now, you will get all of this (the 6-phase program + lifestyle phase, daily workout schedule, diastasis recti and pelvic floor section), and access to our coaches in the private community for just $49 a month.

I will give you the same tools that I have used on myself and mamas all over the world to strengthen their body, core and mind.

I have too many testimonials from women that say they wish they would have known this information YEARS ago. Don’t wait like they did because I would **love** to see you on the inside of Core Rehab today. Together, let’s heal your body from the inside out.


image of core rehab program

And when you join today, you will receive three FREE bonuses: Digestion Series ($397 Value), Mindfulness Course ($497 Value), Monthly Group Coaching Calls ($2,400/year value).

These bonuses are another way that Core Rehab has become a lifestyle program for our mamas. It’s time for you to learn how EVERYTHING in the body is connected.

For more clarity on the program, what it can do for you and why my unique style of training works for so many ladies, check out my question and answer below!

Answering your questions about Core Rehab ✨

Posted by Erica Ziel on Tuesday, May 26, 2020

The material contained within is provided for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. You should seek prompt medical care for any specific health issues and consult your physician before beginning a new regiment or purchasing any product(s).

The post Your Secret Weapon to Postpartum Recovery appeared first on Knocked-Up Fitness®.